Have you been doing a lot of thinking about getting back together with your ex?
You really want to give it another try, but how does your ex
feel about that? If you want
to work things out with your ex
, you need to think carefully about what happened. There has to be reasons
why you two broke up.
If you don't try to understand what happened it will be pretty hard to prevent the same problems
from occurring in the future.
Since you are no longer together, it's obvious there must have been something. Was it
something you said or did? Maybe your ex
said or did something. There's probably more than enough blame
to go around.
The bottom line is that if you do want to get back together, you won't want to continue to make the same
mistakes that led to your break up. If you do, the next split may well be your last one.
The thing to do is to figure
out what went wrong and change what needs to be changed. Feeling guilty or bad for what happened won't solve the problem.
Pretending not to understand what caused the problem won't help either. And feeling anger or resentment toward your ex
will only make things worse.
Along with thinking about what exactly went wrong, you need to start
feeling good about each other too. You can get good feelings going by thinking about times when the relationship was working.
You wanted to be together because it felt good.
Now that you remember how your relationship was in both good times
and bad, you can start trying to put it back together. But for this to happen, you need to get your ex
on board with this.
Nothing will happen until you can start communicating with your ex
may be the hardest part. One way is to change how you've been in contact to this point.
So if you have been bombarding
them with emails, try writing a real letter and mailing it. Tell them you have something you want to discuss and ask them
to contact you. They'll be curious so there's a good chance they will contact you.
If they do get in touch with you,
be prepared for an open and honest discussion. That doesn't mean pointing the finger or accepting all the blame. You spent
time figuring what was good as well as what wasn't good in your relationship.
Use this information while you have a
real conversation about your problems and try to come up with some ways to solve some of those problems. Don't think that
you are going to solve all your problems in one conversation. It took a long time to mess things up. It will take some time
to put things back together.Getting back together with your ex
may be challenging. But if care about each other enough to make it work, it can happen. Find a way to put what's happened
behind you and resolve your problems. If you do that your relationship can be better than ever.